Time for a change.

Remember what life was like before text messages and social networks? Well, I remember and it used to be glorious. My relationships used to be so different. When someone was interested in me and wanted to ask me out on a date, they actually had to build up the courage to call my house and most likely talk to someone in my family before they were able to get to me. We would then talk for hours about everything, since it was the only chance we had to actually talk to each other.  When the day, if the date came, I would be so nervous and excited. We would both be very present, talking and learning about each other, with no interruptions, no distractions, no third parties. It was just me and him. Those times were magical, and the dates I had during those years will forever hold a special place in my heart because we respected and valued our time together, and real relationships stemmed from it, relationships of far superior quality than whatever is it we call a relationship nowadays. Today everything has changed and I blame it all on our obsession with being social.

After text messaging, smart phones and social networks became indispensable to our lives, we let it consume us to the point the quality of our real relationships started taking a toll and the quality of our virtual relationships sky rocketed. Between text messages and social networks, we have all of our friends at our fingertips and they have us in their fingertips as well, thus making us all become much more available to anyone at anytime. Because of this, our “relationship etiquette” has completely changed from what it used to be. What once took guts for a boy to ask a girl out on a date, now has been reduced to  a simple text message that probably says, “hey, wanna hang?”, where no real emotions can be known or felt and we can easily reject someone as long as we put a smiley face at the end of it. What once was a date that we looked forward to all week and gave us butterflies, now has been reduced to two people sitting at a restaurant with their cell phones in front of them on top of the table, and at the slightest sounds/vibration/flashing light it emits, we will so very naturally leave the other person talking by themselves while we go about our own business in our phone. I’ve walked out on dates in the past because of their uncontrollable texting, and I have seen numerous relationships go down the drain because of social networking websites like MySpace and Facebook. Is it worth it to lose a relationship over our desire to maintain an intense social life?  If we become aware that this behavior is the probable culprit to why our relationships aren’t lasting as long as they used to, should we do something about it or should we simply accept that one on one time doesn’t exist anymore?

I think it all depends on what we want and what is important to each one of us. I don’t believe in extremes and I think we can always take the middle road to resolve a problem. By acknowledging that our obsession may be hurting our relationships we can then take the first step to fixing it, without having to choose one or the other. I believe we CAN have it all. We can have healthy relationships and an intense social life at the same time, as long as we learn how to modify our current behavior. When we are with someone we need to realize that all that matters in that moment is the person in front of you, the person that took time out of their lives to be with you; the person who is with you RIGHT NOW. Not the person who is calling you (unless it is your mother) or the person texting you, or the person writing to you on Facebook.

We need to start valuing each moment in our lives and understand that the beauty of a text is that it can wait until later! The beauty of a phone call is that we can hit ignore! It can all wait, it can wait until you are done having dinner with your date, it can wait until you go to the bathroom; it can wait until your date goes to the bathroom. IT.CAN.WAIT! 

I can’t change the people around me, or tell someone what to do, but I can start with me, and you start with you. Let’s begin by controlling the urgency of being available to anyone at anytime and focusing on being present and fully enjoying what is happening around you right NOW.

Read. Pick one. Do it. (You're welcome)

To me, whatever it is I do, it only makes sense if it is special. Special to me means I am taking my time to do plan something memorable, whether it is simple or over the top. Special occasions, such as birthdays, V-Day or holidays are the time of the year that we can get our creative juices flowing and add even more flavor to our lives! I always take advantage of these special days not only because I always like being creative, but mainly because I like showing just how much my significant other means to me.

You're probably asking yourself "Why is she writing all this cheesy crap?" Well darling, because Valentine's Day is ALREADY around the corner and I've received a few emails asking for tips on what to do this V-Day. I'm going to post a list of date ideas that men should be planning out for you, but, if you're a woman reading this and you're not sure what to do this Valentine's Day, just browse through this list and either: plan the date yourself (in case your guy is somewhat of a dead fish and doesn't take initiative), plan it with your man (in case your guy is the kind that is not creative enough to come up with the ideas himself but still wants to participate) or if you have an awesome boyfriend you can just close your browser cause he is probably already planning something awesome.

Moving on now, the following date ideas can accommodate any budget or relationship style/phase and they range from simple, to cute, to over the top awesomeness.  
Next to each idea one you will see one or more of the ratings below. It is my particular rating and how I look at each of the different date ideas. 
  

1) Do something artsy together. If you just started dating and you haven't even met each other's private parts yet, you probably want to stick to something less romantic and more artsy. So, you can go to one of those pottery art studios and paint something for each other, like a mug or a frame. Most of these places will let you bring in your own wine, so add a twist to this cute date and show up with a little vino.

2) Take a day trip. This is also if you just started dating and looking for something more laid back. Find a town nearby where you can stroll around, look at shops and have a nice lunch or dinner somewhere quaint and cozy.

3) Tell him to come to your house for dinner. Buy a few bottles of red wine, buy something READY from a restaurant that you like, instead of slaving in the kitchen for hours, and buy something delicious you know you'll both like. This way, the hours before he gets there you'll be able to get ready without worrying about food and prep the house with candles, candles and more candles. Also, spicy it up buying a new sexy lingerie and soon after your first few glasses of wine make sure you tell him you've got something sexy on. If you're a guy you would ideally invite her over to your house for dinner, and if you're intimate enough to get her some lingerie, DO. The night should be magical.

4) Dating a sports freak and there's a game on Valentine's night? Take them to the game. Even if you hate sports, just make that sacrifice and take him to the game. Perhaps after the game is over he will recognize your sacrifice and take you to a nice dinner.

5) If you really want this night to be memorable, have your significant other meet you at the lobby bar of a nice hotel nearby. Somewhere you could pretend you're having dinner at. Book a room at the same hotel, stop at the store and get 3 bottles of wine or champagne, some cheeses, crackers,  and whatever else finger foods you both like, get to the hotel at least an hour before your date is supposed to show up. Go to the room and prep the food, candles, booze, and the works. When your guy/girl gets there, have a drink at the lobby bar and then surprise them by taking them up to your room for the night. Great night, guaranteed.

6) If you both appreciate the arts, find a local play or opera and dinner reservations somewhere romantic. A classic date night that most couples can appreciate.

7) There are many spas that offer couples massages and you can both be in the same room together. Book a massage for both of you in the late afternoon, bring your things so you can get ready at the spa and then leave directly for dinner together. You will both be super relaxed, so choose to have dinner somewhere quiet and cozy.

8) If you find out your guy or girl's favorite band will be in concert on V-Day or a few days before or after, take them to the show! If the show is not on V-Day, then tell them you'll be busy working/studying/whatever on V-Day so you will be celebrating it on a different night! You will both have a great time and your significant other will love the surprise!   

 9) Now, this is the mother of all V-Day ideas. However, it requires both of you to have the time to do it and one of you to have the budget. Plan an amazing weekend getaway somewhere nearby (or far!) and do ALL OF THE ABOVE!